I’ve always equated the beginning of my relationship with God to a picture my mom has of me standing between my dad’s legs, wearing his size 13 boots. I imagine the security and joy I felt the night I decided to follow Christ is how my heart felt as a boy in my dad’s boots…so small and so helpless…yet secure. There was a sense of protection knowing all would be ok.
I’ve always been a chunky/stocky person. My mom used to try and make me feel better by saying I was just husky. It made me feel good for about 37 seconds. She’s always loved me and never really staked that love on the size of my jeans…but tell that to the kids at school. So, I’ve always like feeling small. I think it’s why I like the idea of God as “dad”…me in his boots, standing between his legs.
I bet David knew he was small and he didn’t fear any giants. No matter how big they were. That Goliath guy messed with the wrong kid.
When I was younger I rode in my dad’s big truck and it’s easy to feel small in a big truck. I would sit on the floor board and look out the little window and wave at people as we passed or just watch the audience of fence row and road side weeds. The people I waved at would usually wave back as they smiled. I bet if those signs and weeds were people they would smile and wave back too.
I’m not sure why there is a window there because shoes can’t see, but I bet that big truck designer knew little boys would be riding with their dad’s. I bet if he drove his son would be looking out that little window so he could see passing motorists, weeds and road signs. I hope they never take those windows out so little boys riding with their dad’s can always feel small and make people smile as they pass by.
Our world feels so closed off to feeling small. Everyone wants to be big and feel important. I like to be wanted too, but I prefer my audience of passing cars and weeds and road signs by the fence row. Maybe those are the people who support me and love me…cheering me on as I pass by.
My dad is still big but I can’t fit between his legs anymore and now that I know he has athletes foot I don’t wear his boots anymore either. But, I like that God is big enough for me to stand between his legs. I miss that feeling because I sometimes forget how big he is and that he isn’t an idea…rather, he is real and he has a window for me to see the road I travel. A road he drives his big rig down to take me down the path of life he created me for.
This is how I felt in the beginning with God. Now I have to remind myself that reverence is sometimes better than deep interpretation. I get lost in thought…deep thought…and there, rules start driving. Poetical curiosity is lost and my romance flees. That’s why I like the stars, sunrises and sunsets…they remind me of the Creator. The earth sings a song because it never forgets the window it should look through to gaze upon the beauty of God. He is a person and He loves me. I know he loves me because He lets me sit in the floor board and look out that little window to remind me of how small I am and how He is big. I trust Him. He is a good driver.